Making the choices necessary to keep my mind sharp takes a lot more self control than I have been able to muster lately. There are so many forms of entertainment that offer such temptation. Television, Netflix, Video Games, Internet and browsing, Coding web applications and web sites. All these things are not bad in and of themselves, but taken without portion control and wise time management make for bad results. I can feel the effects of all the electronic entertainment when I try to pray, read the Bible, or just be still before God. I find myself wanting stimulation and I find the silence painful. I sit in the quiet and try to focus, but I cannot, at least not for very long.
This is obviously a huge issue. The relationship I need and desire with God is built and maintained in the quiet. It's going to take some resolve and hard work to get back to the place where I can be in the quiet and without electronics and still be productive. Even now I am thinking that a few episodes of my favorite show playing in the background as I find things to do around the house or on the computer will help this sleepless time pass quickly. But I have to fight that and do what I know will bring me healing, blessings, and most importantly, closeness to God. It's very difficult, but it really comes down to what I want more. Immediate satiation of my fleshly desires or the fruit of being disciplined.
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